1. Make sure you know your family tree before kissing a boy on the mouth.
2. Collect the toys as a child, and you’ll make lot’s of boyfriends. As an adult, it’d probably still work for a certain crowd… but I’ll pass.
3. Very old Jedi Masters, whom are supposedly very wise and speak English for many years, still can’t grasp basic grammar.
4. C3PO tried out for the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but they said he was too flamboyant.
5. Big furry aliens who speak in gutteral howls are loveable. Little furry aliens who repeat the phrase “yub yub” can be incredibly annoying. Or maybe it was just my friend who went around repeating Ewok noises all day that annoyed the crap out of me.
6. Shoot first. Ask questions later.
7. Some hairstyles will never catch on. Thank God.
8. It is possible to be immersed in a giant pool of waste and excrement and NOT throw up.
9. Men who act like a cocky playboys get all the women. Especially, if they look like Harrison Ford.
10. Heroic men who fight evil and save the day? Only get lovin’ from their sister.
11. The more evil you are, the uglier you get.
12. Being a princess can suck.
13. You can be a traitor to your friends and still be considered a “good guy.” (Also, see #9)