13 Things I Learned From Watching Star Wars

Luke and Leia
1. Make sure you know your family tree before kissing a boy on the mouth.

Star Wars Toy
2. Collect the toys as a child, and you’ll make lot’s of boyfriends. As an adult, it’d probably still work for a certain crowd… but I’ll pass.

3. Very old Jedi Masters, whom are supposedly very wise and speak English for many years, still can’t grasp basic grammar.

4. C3PO tried out for the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but they said he was too flamboyant.

Chewie Ewoks
5. Big furry aliens who speak in gutteral howls are loveable. Little furry aliens who repeat the phrase “yub yub” can be incredibly annoying. Or maybe it was just my friend who went around repeating Ewok noises all day that annoyed the crap out of me.

Han in Cantina
6. Shoot first. Ask questions later.

7. Some hairstyles will never catch on. Thank God.

8. It is possible to be immersed in a giant pool of waste and excrement and NOT throw up.

Han Solo
9. Men who act like a cocky playboys get all the women. Especially, if they look like Harrison Ford.

10. Heroic men who fight evil and save the day? Only get lovin’ from their sister.

11. The more evil you are, the uglier you get.

12. Being a princess can suck.

13. You can be a traitor to your friends and still be considered a “good guy.” (Also, see #9)

30 thoughts on “13 Things I Learned From Watching Star Wars”

  1. Great TT list! Not all toy collecting geeks are to be avoided…just the one’s that talk about their mothers alot and smell of old cheese. 😉

    I always crack up when I read the old Alan Dean Foster book Splinter of the Mind’s Eye and see references to romantic thoughts Luke is having about Leia…kinda creepy!

    One of the privileges of old age is to be able to flaut the rules of grammar!

  2. 1, 3, 10 LOL

    Oh my gosh, wasnt that the grossest moment when they foundout they were related. EEEEWW.

    Although I heard in the Ozarks they were all cheering. Incest had gone mainstream. (No offense to the non-hillbillies in NC)

    Come check it out. I swapped with Michelle Cary today. Blog Swap!

  3. This is one of the best ones! I love Star Wars… although the action figures never got me any boyfriends… then or now. But no Darth Vador!!!

    I have to wonder if my love of bad guys came from the cocky Han and my love of black from Darth. Maybe. 🙂

  4. okay… #1…. eeeeeeewwwwwww

    #7 you got that right.

    #2 *G* surely there’s got to be some cool, cute decent guys that are star wars buffs… right? I mean us girls can like the movies lots, so why not guys?

  5. I made my mom give me braid buns when I was seven. My name is Carrie–she was my idol. Only later did I learn they’re all hairpieces. So disappointed.

    And the moment Luke reveals to Leia that they’re brother and sister, you know her internal dialogue is, “Oh shit. How many times did I kiss you??”

    Nice post. Made me laugh 🙂

  6. My computer is acting up (or server has pegged me as spam). Either way I missed the last half of your list. But the first half was killer.LOL!!!

    By the way, You have just been tagged.

  7. I was a big Luke fan and I still am. I love your TT! Especially #1 – that’s a LOL alright. It kills me that there is actually controversy over whether Han or Greedo shot first. Han shot first!

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