Here’s my list of the 13 Best Starship Pilots:

1. Han Solo (from Star Wars) – Easily the best pilot, and he knows it. I’d include Luke too for his X-Wing flying, but he uses The Force. Isn’t that cheating? Would he actually be as good a pilot if he didn’t use The Force?
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2. Wash (from Serenity/Firefly) – Joss Whedon created a loveable, funny character in Wash. Then, he killed him.
Oops. That was a spoiler.
Can you tell it upset me?
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3. Alex Rogan (from The Last Starfighter) – He learns how to pilot a ship by playing a video game. Doesn’t get much cooler than that. Or more realistic. Yeah.
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4. Lt. Colonel John Sheppard (from Stargate: Atlantis) – He’s the definition of “Man Pretty.” And easily the prettiest pilot of them all… that includes #11. He used to be a pilot in the Air Force. Now he flies puddle jumpers and leads expeditions to new worlds.
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5. Starbuck (from Battlestar Galactica) – I’m being nice and including the remake chick in here too. But mainly, just to up the female bodycount. That is… If she counts as a female, seeing as how she has as much testosterone as most of the men on this list.

6. Tommy Webber (from Galaxy Quest) – “Peddle to the metal, Commander.” I had to include my favorite Star Trek spoof.
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7. Tom Paris (from Star Trek: Voyager) – Right after graduating, he piloted and crashed a ship that killed three people. When demoted, he was probably the oldest living Ensign. He eventually regained Lieutenant status. But remind me again, why was he supposed to be such a great pilot?

8. Buck Rogers (in the 25th Century) – A pilot who launches his ship in 1987, but get frozen by gasses and awakens 500 years later.

9. Col. Wilma Deering (from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century) – Buck Rogers’ love interest and a great pilot in her own right.

10. John Crichton (from Farscape) – Kind of a remake of Buck Rogers, but instead of the future, he’s just thrown into another galaxy with Jim Henson muppets. I kid. Fans of the show, please don’t send hatemail.
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11. David Freeman (from Flight of the Navigator) – Time travel, Beach Boys songs, and more muppet-like aliens. The only part I couldn’t stand was PeeWee Herman’s voice for the ship computer.
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12. Carmen Ibañez (from Starship Troopers) – Has to choose between Casper Van Dien and Patrick Muldoon. Poor girl. I’d put up with giant killer insects for that decision.

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13. 1st Lt. Christopher Blair (from Wing Commander) – Because you can’t have too many white men flying ships.

Notice: I didn’t include pilots from such movies as Lost in Space and Planet of the Apes. If they were that great of pilots, they wouldn’t have gotten lost and crashed.

Update: For those confused why Sulu didn’t make the list… He wasn’t helmsman long. And last we saw of him, he was Captian of the Excelsior.


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