13 Things I Learned From Watching Star Wars
1. Make sure you know your family tree before kissing a boy on the mouth.
2. Collect the toys as a child, and you’ll make lot’s of boyfriends. As an adult, it’d probably still work for a certain crowd… but I’ll pass.
3. Very old Jedi Masters, whom are supposedly very wise and speak English for many years, still can’t grasp basic grammar.
4. C3PO tried out for the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but they said he was too flamboyant.
5. Big furry aliens who speak in gutteral howls are loveable. Little furry aliens who repeat the phrase “yub yub” can be incredibly annoying. Or maybe it was just my friend who went around repeating Ewok noises all day that annoyed the crap out of me.
6. Shoot first. Ask questions later.
7. Some hairstyles will never catch on. Thank God.
8. It is possible to be immersed in a giant pool of waste and excrement and NOT throw up.
9. Men who act like a cocky playboys get all the women. Especially, if they look like Harrison Ford.
10. Heroic men who fight evil and save the day? Only get lovin’ from their sister.
11. The more evil you are, the uglier you get.
12. Being a princess can suck.
13. You can be a traitor to your friends and still be considered a “good guy.” (Also, see #9)
July 19th, 2007 at 1:50 am
Great TT list! Not all toy collecting geeks are to be avoided…just the one’s that talk about their mothers alot and smell of old cheese.
I always crack up when I read the old Alan Dean Foster book Splinter of the Mind’s Eye and see references to romantic thoughts Luke is having about Leia…kinda creepy!
One of the privileges of old age is to be able to flaut the rules of grammar!
July 19th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Excellent! I loved #9 and #10.
It’s too bad about C3PO – I probably would have watched Queer Eye had he been cast.
July 19th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Oh, this was great. Except I would have taken Luke over Han. That’s just me. I was madly, madly in love with him.
July 19th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Hey don’t judge a ship, I mean a book by its cover
July 19th, 2007 at 9:51 am
*LOL* Awesome T13! Love it! I’d add “don’t judge someone for being all hairy, they might make awesome bodyguards.”
July 19th, 2007 at 10:19 am
1, 3, 10 LOL
Oh my gosh, wasnt that the grossest moment when they foundout they were related. EEEEWW.
Although I heard in the Ozarks they were all cheering. Incest had gone mainstream. (No offense to the non-hillbillies in NC)
Come check it out. I swapped with Michelle Cary today. Blog Swap!
July 19th, 2007 at 10:20 am
This is one of the best ones! I love Star Wars… although the action figures never got me any boyfriends… then or now. But no Darth Vador!!!
I have to wonder if my love of bad guys came from the cocky Han and my love of black from Darth. Maybe.
July 19th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Totally loved your take. Best TT I’ve read today. Poor Carrie Fisher forever tagged with that horrible hairdo.
July 19th, 2007 at 10:50 am
and when you dont look like Harrison Ford, you cant get arrested, let alone get another acting job after Star Wars
July 19th, 2007 at 11:12 am
okay… #1…. eeeeeeewwwwwww
#7 you got that right.
#2 *G* surely there’s got to be some cool, cute decent guys that are star wars buffs… right? I mean us girls can like the movies lots, so why not guys?
July 19th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
I made my mom give me braid buns when I was seven. My name is Carrie–she was my idol. Only later did I learn they’re all hairpieces. So disappointed.
And the moment Luke reveals to Leia that they’re brother and sister, you know her internal dialogue is, “Oh shit. How many times did I kiss you??”
Nice post. Made me laugh
July 19th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
#1 made me laugh out loud!
Great list, and very educational too.
July 19th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Han Solo..oh yes =)
July 19th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
I have a dog who looks like an Ewok. He’s adorable. And a bastard.
Loved this list!
July 19th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
My computer is acting up (or server has pegged me as spam). Either way I missed the last half of your list. But the first half was killer.LOL!!!
By the way, You have just been tagged.
July 19th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I was a big Luke fan and I still am. I love your TT! Especially #1 – that’s a LOL alright. It kills me that there is actually controversy over whether Han or Greedo shot first. Han shot first!
July 19th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I love numbers 9 and 10! LOL
July 19th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
That was a hilarious list. I’m sure the producers had some trouble had some problems with the kiss and then saying they were related.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Great list! I think you could definitely pull off the Leia hairdo, though.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
What a great list! Yeah, #1 has always bothered me a little.
Happy TT!
July 19th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
OMG too funny!!!
July 19th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
LOL….Loved #11 and I think its true too!! Happy TT.
July 20th, 2007 at 10:49 am
I love the ewoks! But I probably wouldn’t have if my little brother followed me around making ewok noises.
July 22nd, 2007 at 1:06 pm
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July 26th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Great list! That brother/sister kiss always disturbed me. And Han Solo was still totally adorable while acting like a jackass.
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:55 am
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August 14th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Hilarious and true. In re #7…true unless you’re traditional Hopi.
Nice work.
August 14th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Thanks, Alan! I’m a big fan of your novels.
August 23rd, 2007 at 12:27 am
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