13 Great Star Trek IV Quotes

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13 Great Quotes from the wittiest Trek movie, Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home:

1. [after landing and cloaking a Klingon spaceship in Golden Gate Park]
Kirk: Everybody remember where we parked.

2. [Explaining Spock’s odd behavior]
Kirk: Oh, him? He’s harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.

3. Disgruntled guy in car: Watch where you’re going, ya dumb ass.
Kirk: Well, a double dumb ass on you!
Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, more colorful metaphors, “double dumb-ass on you” and so forth.
Kirk: Oh, you mean the profanity?
Spock: Yes.
Kirk: Well that’s simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word.

4. [Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly]
Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell “your” whales.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told you that.
Spock: The hell they did.

5. Kirk: Spock, where the hell’s the power you promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.

6. McCoy: I don’t know if you’ve got the whole picture, but he’s not exactly working on all thrusters.

7. [faced with a 20th century computer]
Scotty: Computer. Computer?
[Bones hands him a mouse and he speaks into it]
Scotty: Hello, computer.
Dr. Nichols: Just use the keyboard.
Scotty: Keyboard. How quaint.

8. Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: I love Italian,
[looks at Spock]
Kirk: And so do you.
Spock: Yes.

9. Dr. Gillian Taylor: Don’t tell me, you’re from outer space.
Kirk: No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.

10. [Uhura and Chekov are lost and looking to find an aircraft carrier]
Chekov: Excuse me I’m looking for the nuclear wessels.
[a cop just looks at him]
Chekov: Nuclear wessels?

11. Dr. Gillian Taylor: Are you sure you won’t change your mind?
Spock: Is there something wrong with the one I have?

12. [Chekov is being interrogated]
FBI agent: Name.
Chekov: My name?
FBI agent: [sarcastically] No, my name.
Chekov: I do not know your name.
FBI agent: You play games with me mister, and you’re through.
Chekov: I am? May I go now?

13. [interrogating Chekov]
FBI agent 1: [to colleague] What do you think?
FBI Agent 2: He’s a Russki.
FBI agent 1: That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. Of course, he’s a Russki, but is he a retard or somethin?…
[Chekov picks up his phaser, stands up and aims it towards the FBI Agents]
Chekov: Don’t Move.
FBI agent 1: Okaay, make nice, give is the ray gun…
Chekov: I warn you, if you don’t lie on the floor I will have to stun you.
FBI agent 1: Go ahead. ‘Stun’ me…
Chekov: I’m very sorry but…
[Attempts to fire phaser but nothing happens]
Chekov: …Heh… It must be the radiation…
[Tosses phaser to agent & starts running]


37 thoughts on “13 Great Star Trek IV Quotes”

  1. here is a shameful admission – I have never seen a Star treck movie! A customer at the cafe was yelling at me today and I am told I have no choice but appear every thursday in perpetuity until I have seen every single one ( I have seen a couple of next generation but eons ago). THanks for the quotes – gets me ready for this weeks marathon!

  2. Yes, this is absolutely the best of the “old” Trekker movies. I love it. My favorite of the new ones is First Contact. Oddly, both involve the crews going back in time and stumbling into wacky mishaps…

  3. Nessie – A marathon sounds fun to me! Though I don’t think I could watch 10 movies in a row.. LOL Hopefully, you’re breaking that up a bit.

    Richelle – Those 2 are my favorites as well. Though besides the time travel aspect, my favorite part of First Contact is the actual leading up to and meeting the Vulcans.. the “first contact” part.

  9. That’s my favorite Star Trek movie. I love #2, and another one of my favorite bits was the Dr. bitching about 20th Century Dr.’s or as he called them, butchers.

    McCoy: What’s a matter with you?

    Old Lady: Kidney Dialysis.

    McCoy: Dialysis! What is this the Spanish Inquisition?

  11. May fave from the movie is this great exchange:

    Kirk: You’re not exactly catching us at our best
    Spock: That much is certain.

    Just Spock’s deadpan (as usual) response kills me every time. This movie was truly Shatner and Nimoy at their best.

    (I still love ‘Wrath of Khan’ a little more, but this is a very, very close second)

  12. I have never seen any Star Trek movies, shows or whatever other forms of media they come in. My husband does though, and when he asks me to watch the stuff with him, I always roll my eyes and say “sorry, gotta wash my hair.” 🙂

    If I had any idea it was sooo funny I would have watched years ago! Great list. Even though I haven’t watched any of them you set it up so that I could actually picture it! I laughed by butt off! 🙂

  17. Chris – Wrath of Khan is not one of my favorites. The over-acting kills it for me. For most Trek fans, that one’s their favorite though.

    Vicky – This is the only one that is mainly comedic. I think you’d like this one, but I don’t know about the others.. Save for First Contact. I know a few friends who never watched Star Trek, but enjoyed that movie.

  19. Count me in on this one too. I loved Voyage Home.

    Great quotes too. I haven’t seen this in several years, but remember Scotty’s disgusted look on his face when confronted with the 20th century computer.

    Good times.

  23. You have made my day at work! This was such a great post!!! I laughed so hard on some of these! and it’s such a great movie too! (one of my favorites) I’ll have to watch it again now!

  24. My favorite line from a Star Trek movie is, of course, the immortal “Khaaaaaaaaan!!!!”. I also love all the various imitations of said line that have cropped up in sitcoms, comics, etc. over the years.

  25. This is my favourite Star Trek movie of that series!! Excellent quotes – I could picture each scen perfectly as I’ve watched that movie at least a half dozen times if not more. (No this isn’t like the time I watched Dirty Dancing every saturday afternoon for a month! – opps, was that out loud?)

  28. Love this movie! I’m especially fond of Spock trying to cuss properly. 🙂 When I’m particularly irritated with something I ask myself if it’s time for a colorful metaphor. Thanks for the giggle.

  30. It has been a long time since I last saw a trekkie movie. I just loved #6.
    Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
    My TT is posted.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Happy TT’ing!
    *^_^
    (=’:’=)
    (“)_ (“)Ã…Â
    Raggedy

  31. Angela,
    Maybe I’ll rent this movie when me and hubby stay in on valentine’s day… I can tell him that I’m watching it just for him. Only we will know the truth! Muaahaahaahaahaa!!! 😉

  34. I haven’t seen those movies in a long time, but now, I want to rent them again thanks to this list. Those movies are just good fun all around.

    Terrific idea for a list!

  37. Haha! I remember watching this movie at least three times. xD It was so fantastic. I remember just /cracking up laughing/ through like the whole thing, hehehe.

    Ah… Now I feel like running back to Hollywood Video and renting the movie. x3

    “Dr. Gillian Taylor: Don’t tell me, you’re from outer space.
    Kirk: No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.”

    I loved that part, as well as Chekov’s interrogation. Perfect!

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